英译 崔灏 七律 黄鹤楼

八十一子

七律
黄鹤楼
崔灏

昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是，烟波江上使人愁。

Eight Long Lines
The Pavilion of Yellow-Footed Crane
Cui Hao

Gone was the yellow-footed crane, his master atop,
Left behind a pavilion he once nestled.
Away he went and never seemed to have returned,
For a thousand years in the sky only the clouds afloat.

Trees upon trees bathing in the sun by the River Han,
Grass patches awash in the rain on the sandbank of Parrot.
The sun sets, but I know not one path to my home,
The wavy, smoky river, how you fill my chest with sorrow.

语婷

我喜欢玩这种游戏，不是想行者兄的那种“猜谜”。。。那种，真是想破头都没用的，因为不懂也记不住游戏规则啊～～

yellow-legged crane？怎么这么费事啊～～

八月云天。。。我们把八兄这只鹤给COLOR了吧？
太长
要想一想～

Here it is～～

《The Pavilion of Yellow-Footed Crane》

Gone with the yellow-footed bird, he left behind the empty Pavilion of Crane
The bird returning no more, only the aging clouds gathering year after year
Sun-bathed trees lining the HanYang road, wild grass covering the Parrot Bank
I lost my mind on the sunset road, longing for you by the roaring smoky river

嘿嘿。。不管怎样，四句一样长～～
-----

再改一版, 试一试每一句用个谓语的。大概也许可能。。。这样好一点？
而且最后一句好象也没有那么简单，还是翻成“feel lost”比较像？

Gone with the yellow-footed bird, he left behind the empty Pavilion of Crane
The bird returning no more, only the aging clouds were gathering year after year
Trees were scattering on HanYang Land, wild grass was covering the Parrot Bank
I felt lost in the sunset countryside, thinking of hometown by the smoky big river

八月风

He who is gone with the yellow bird, here left behind the empty Pavilion of Crane
The bird will be returning no more, only the white clouds afloat for thousands years
Sun-bathed trees standing by the HanYang road, wild grass whimpering over the Parrot Bank
I lost myself on the sunset road, drowning in sadness, in the waves of the smoky river

八十一子

2# 语婷
Yellow-footed is right. Thanks. :)

八十一子

3# 八月风

"Yellow bird"? Not quite right. Thinking about first time ski-schoolers?:)

海外逸士

PAVILION一般不指酒樓。常用WINEHOUSE。
洲可用SHOAL。

八十一子

6# 海外逸士
逸士好！
黄鹤楼应该不是酒楼？

八月风

干脆还用yellow crane，这样和下句的Pavillion of Crane虽然重复了一点，但其实也蛮有味道的。

3# 八月风

"Yellow bird"? Not quite right. Thinking about first time ski-schoolers?:)
八十一子 发表于 2009-4-26 10:31 AM

海外逸士

請問﹐在古代﹐黃鶴樓是什麼所在﹖