古诗英译四首

云天

1.
虞美人•听雨
蒋捷

少年听雨歌楼上，
红烛昏罗帐。
壮年听雨客舟中，
江阔云低，
断雁叫西风。
　　
而今听雨僧庐下，
鬓已星星也。
悲欢离合总无情，
一任阶前，
点滴到天明。


To the Tune of Poppy---Listening to the Rain
By Jiang Jie

In my youth I listened to the rain in the song house
where red candles flickered upon the silky valence
In my prime I listened to the rain in a passenger boat
on the vast river beneath the overcast sky
A lost wild goose cried in the west wind

Now I listen to the rain under the eaves of a temple
my sideburns grey as if dotted silver stars
Always merciless are sorrows and joys, partings and meetings
Just let the rain fall on the door steps
Drop after drop, till dawn


2.
秋风引
刘禹锡

何处秋风至？
萧萧送雁群。
朝来入庭树，
孤客最先闻。

Autumn Wind
By Liu Yuxi

Whence does the autumn wind rise?
It sees off the wild geese in cries.
At dawn drifting into the courtyard tree
It’s first heard by a traveler so lonely.


3.
伤秋
卢纶

岁去人头白，秋来树叶黄。
搔头向黄叶，与尔共悲伤。


Autumn Grief
By Lu Lun

As years go by, on my head grey hairs grow
When autumn comes, the leaves turn yellow
Scratching my head, I turn to them and sigh,
“Let’s share the sorrow together, you and I.”


Autumn Grief
By Lu Lun

Passing years turn my hair white
Yellow leaves make autumn sight
Scratching my head, to many a leaf---
With you I shall share my grief


4.
秋思
张籍

洛阳城里见秋风，欲作家书意万重。
复恐匆匆说不尽，行人临发又开封。


Autumn Thoughts
By Zhang Ji

In Luoyang autumn wind starts to flutter
My nostalgia aroused, I write home a letter
Fearing that in haste something is left out
I break the seal ere the messenger sets out

Tr. Yuntian

ms_lt

what nice works!!  Sofa  

ms_lt

I break the seal ere the messenger sets out

is "ere" a typo?

swan.eagle

waspking

好诗， 好译！ 云天是学文学的吧？

Chang_Le

好诗， 好译！     

fancao

云天妹妹真有才华！

云天

多谢星管，常乐兄加分.　数钱的感觉真好.　
多谢梦妹，天鹅，蜂王,　常乐兄,　仙草鼓励！　献拙凑兴而已.　:-)

小梦,　（这称呼有典故的.　　"I want to return my mommy".  祝福梦家可爱小公子）
多谢梦才女总是坐沙发.　给你同各位上茶敬酒.　（天信的茶,　婷子的酒）　
"ere" 算古式用法吧，意为"before". 　从莎翁的Romeo and Juliet中引一段:
CAPULET
But saying o'er what I have said before.
My child is yet a stranger in the world.
She hath not seen the change of fourteen years.
Let two more summers wither in their pride
Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.

蜂王，谢谢抬举.　我窃喜了一回.　
不会摄影，只好玩文字.　可惜本人中文止于高三.　　　
若是有仙草的古文功底,　不才我肯定大翻特翻.　
蜂王英文相当好,　若写了中英双语诗,　摆上来让大家欣赏哦．

云天

祝各位秋安!　

　

fanghua

喜见云天译作！问声好！

云天

fanghua 发表于 2011-11-4 11:56 PM 喜见云天译作！问声好！

秋天里见"芳华", 感觉真好.
习作了, 见笑.

祝芳华青春永远!

fancao

回复 云天 的帖子

你比我强多了，我的中文只到初一。

fanghua

fancao 发表于 2011-11-5 01:18 AM
回复 云天 的帖子

你比我强多了，我的中文只到初一。

啊？那我们都还没上小学呢！

fancao

回复 fanghua 的帖子

不敢说话了。

云天

fancao 发表于 2011-11-5 01:18 AM 回复 云天 的帖子 你比我强多了，我的中文只到初一。

哎呀, 仙草大作家, 你就逗愚云吧.
愚云中英文都不及小学生水平. 我瞎涂两行玩玩而已.

仙草并芳华周末好!

Reader86

To the Tune of Poppy---Listening to the Rain
By Jiang Jie

In my youth I listened to the rain in the song house
where red candles flickered upon the silky valence
In my prime I listened to the rain in a passenger boat
on the vast river beneath the overcast sky
A lost wild goose cried in the west wind

Now I listen to the rain under the eaves of a temple
my sideburns grey as if dotted silver stars
Always abrupt are sorrows and joys, partings and meetings
Just let the rain fall on the door steps
Drop after drop, till dawn

Whence does the autumn wind rise?
It sees off the wild geese in cries.
At dawn drifting into the courtyard tree
It’s first heard by a  lonely traveler

In Luoyang autumn wind starts to flutter
My nostalgia aroused writing a letter
Fearing that in haste something is left out
I open it after the seal is done

yuntian,

Very good translations. thank you for sharing.

Some minor corrections, may not "correct".

云天

回复 Reader86 的帖子

Reader mm,  thank you so much for taking the time to discuss my lousy translation.   Truly appreciate your kindness and input.

My two cents to share:

1.悲欢离合总无情
Always abrupt are sorrows and joys, partings and meetings---Reader86
Always merciless are sorrows and joys, partings and meetings---  yuntian
Still I prefer “merciless” over your “abrupt” to interpret “无情".

2. 朝来入庭树， 孤客最先闻。
At dawn drifting into the courtyard tree
It’s first heard by a  lonely traveler----  Reader86

At dawn drifting into the courtyard tree
It’s first heard by a traveler so lonely--- yuntian

My sole purpose here is to make “lonely” rhyme with “tree”.
I believe it’s a common practice to use postpositive attributive in poetry writing for the sake of rhyming.

3.洛阳城里见秋风，欲作家书意万重。
In Luoyang autumn wind starts to flutter
My nostalgia aroused writing a letter---- reader86
My nostalgia aroused, I write home a letter--- yuntian

In my sentence, “my nostalgia aroused” is an absolute phrase, in which “aroused” is a past participle.
Therefore,  “I”,  the subject of the sentence can't be omitted.

4. 复恐匆匆说不尽，行人临发又开封。
Fearing that in haste something is left out
I open it after the seal is done---- reader86

Fearing that in haste something is left out
I break the seal ere the messenger sets out----yuntian

I use “sets out” to rhyme with “left out” in the previous line.
"ere the messenger sets out" needs to stay to include the meaning of  “行人临发”in the original poem.
行人, the messenger who will deliver the mail.  

Thanks again, Reader mm.  

Anyways, this is for fun only. Thank you all.
Wish everyone a happy autumn!


另,  婷子太阳, 多谢另线的帖!!!  容我明天回. 晚安.  

云天