泰戈尔:告别; 老泰的‘时差’----给阿丽.

云天

可爱的阿丽E 给我一首诗, 说是在小站上读到的.
朋友们知道我寡闻, 时时导读. 我还真没瞧见这首诗.

把泰翁的诗匆匆一译, 献给等待小星星的阿丽.
阿丽, 愿你的小星星象天空中的云, 早日飘到你身边. :)

回头偶再找英文原诗, 看自己译得有没有差十万八千里.

云与波
Cloud and Ripple

妈妈，住在云端的人对我唤道——
“我们从醒的时候游戏到白日终止。
“我们与黄金色的曙光游戏，我们与银白色的月亮游戏。”
我问道：“但是，我怎么能够上你那里去呢?”
他们答道：“你到地球的边上来，举手向天，就可以被接到云端里来了。”
“我妈妈在家里等我呢，”我说，“我怎么能离开她而来呢?”
于是他们微笑着浮游而去。
但是我知道一件比这更好的游戏，妈妈。
我做云，你做月亮。
我用两只手遮盖你，我们的屋顶就是青碧的天空。

Mom, someone dwelling on top of the cloud called me----
“We play games upon waking up till the end of the day.
We play with the golden morning light; we play with silvery white moon.”
I asked, “But how can I get where you are? “
They replied, “you come to the edge of the earth, raise your hands to the sky, then will be taken to top of the clouds.”
So with smiles they drifted away.
But I know a better game than this, mom.
I, be the cloud; and you, be the moon.
I cover your eyes with my two hands, and our rooftop can be the blue sky.

住在波浪上的人对我唤道——
“我们从早晨唱歌到晚上；我们前进又前进地旅行，也不知我们所经过的是什么地方。”
我问道：“但是，我怎么才能加入你们的队伍呢?”
他们告诉我说：“来到岸旁，站在那里，紧闭你的两眼，你就被带到波浪上来了。”
我说：“傍晚的时候，我妈妈常要我在家里——我怎么能离开她而去呢?”
于是他们微笑着，跳舞着奔流过去。
但是我知道一件比这更好的游戏。
我是波浪，你是陌生的岸。
我奔流而进，进，进，笑哈哈地撞碎在你的膝上。
世界上就没有一个人会知道我们俩在什么地方。


Someone dwelling on top of the waves called me----
“We sing from morning till night; we travel forward and forward, without knowing the places we’ve passed by.”
I asked, “But how can I join your troop? “
They told me, “Come to the shore, stand there, close your two eyes, and you’ll be taken to top of the waves.”
I replied, “At sunset, my mom always wants me to stay home----how can I leave her and go?”
Then they smiled, danced, and rushed away with rapids.
But I know a better game than this.
I’m the wave, and you’re the strange shore.
I rush forward, forward, forward, crashing onto your knees with grins.
Then nobody in the world knows where we are.

Yanni - One Man´s Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubTveCihjoQ

云天

阿丽, 你虽未发一帖, 我想我已知道你仙居何处了.
再谢. 请来同我一起欣赏, silently.  

偶译得果然相差十万八千里!    意料当中.  
倒着译走样是必定的. 更何况偶的水平. :

散文诗中最喜欢泰翁和纪伯纶的, 美仑美奂.

泰戈尔把自己用母语写的诗(散文诗)译成英文.
郑振铎大师又将英文译成中文. 好的译文是再创作. 最有名的译句当属下句:
"Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves."
生如夏花之灿烂, 死如秋叶之静美.
----泰戈尔

CLOUDS AND WAVES
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

MOTHER, the folk who live up in the clouds call out to me--

"We play from the time we wake till the day ends.

We play with the golden dawn, we play with the silver moon.

I ask, "But, how am I to get up to you?" They answer, "Come to the edge of the earth, lift up your hands to the sky, and you will be taken up into the clouds."

"My mother is waiting for me at home," I say. "How can I leave her and come?"

Then they smile and float away.

But I know a nicer game than that, mother.

I shall be the cloud and you the moon.

I shall cover you with both my hands, and our house-top will be the blue sky.

The folk who live in the waves call out to me--

"We sing from morning till night; on and on we travel and know not where we pass."

I ask, "But, how am I to join you?" They tell me, "Come to the edge of the shore and stand with your eyes tight shut, and you will be carried out upon the waves."

I say, "My mother always wants me at home in the evening--how can I leave her and go?"

Then they smile, dance and pass by.

But I know a better game than that.

I will be the waves and you will be a strange shore.

I shall roll on and on and on, and break upon your lap with laughter.

And no one in the world will know where we both are.


云与波
郑振铎　译

    妈妈，住在云端的人对我唤道——
    “我们从醒的时候游戏到白日终止。
    “我们与黄金色的曙光游戏，我们与银白色的月亮游戏。”
    我问道：“但是，我怎么能够上你那里去呢？”
    他们答道：“你到地球的边上来，举手向天，就可以被接到云端里来了。”
    “我妈妈在家里等我呢，”我说，“我怎么能离开她而来呢？”
    于是他们微笑着浮游而去。
    但是我知道一件比这个更好的游戏，妈妈。
    我做云，你做月亮。
    我用两只手遮盖你，我们的屋顶就是青碧的天空。
    住在波浪上的人对我唤道——
    “我们从早晨唱歌到晚上；我们前进又前进地旅行，也不知我们所经过的是什么地
方。”
    我问道：“但是，我怎么能加入你们队伍里去呢？”
    他们告诉我说：“来到岸旁，站在那里，紧闭你的两眼，你就被带到波浪上来了。”
    我说：“傍晚的时候，我妈妈常要我在家里——我怎么能离开她而去呢！”
    于是他们微笑着，跳舞着奔流过去。
    但是我知道一件比这个更好的游戏。
    我是波浪，你是陌生的岸。
    我奔流而进，进，进，笑哈哈地撞碎在你的膝上。
    世界上就没有一个人会知道我们俩在什么地方。

Billy Joel - Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc

云天

第一次的茉莉
泰戈尔

    呵，这些茉莉花，这些白的茉莉花！
    我仿佛记得我第一次双手满捧着这些茉莉花，这些白的茉莉花的时候。
    我喜爱那日光，那天空，那绿色的大地；
    我听见那河水淙淙的流声，在黑漆的午夜里传过来；
    秋天的夕阳，在荒原上大路转角处迎我，如新妇揭起她的面纱迎接她的爱人。
    但我想起孩提时第一次捧在手里的白茉莉，心里充满着甜蜜的回忆。
    我生平有过许多快活的日子，在节日宴会的晚上，我曾跟着说笑话的人大笑。
    在灰暗的雨天的早晨，我吟哦过许多飘逸的诗篇。
    我颈上戴过爱人手织的醉花的花圈，作为晚装。
    但我想起孩提时第一次捧在手里的白茉莉，心里充满着甜蜜的回忆。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
茉莉晶莹如雪, 她淡淡的清香, 时时飘在我的心头...
随手瞎译两笔, 回头对照英语原文.

The First Jasmines

Oh, These jasmines, these white jasmines!
I still vaguely remember when I first held these jasmines, these white jasmines, with both my hands.
I like the sunshine, the sky, and the green earth;
I hear the gurgling sound of the river, floating over from the pitch-dark midnight;
The setting sun of autumn, is greeting me at the bend of the barren field, like a newlywed lifts her veil to greet her lover.
But when I think of the white jasmines I held in my hands for the first time in my childhood, my heart is filled with sweet memory.
Throughout my life I’ve had many pleasant days; on the night of a festive banquet, I once laughed with the one who told jokes.
In the gloomy rainy morning, I read many elegant poems.
Around my neck I once wore the wreath woven with drunken flowers by my lover, as my evening dress.
But when I think of the white jasmine I held in my hands for the first time in my childhood, my heart is full of sweet recollections.

云天

花木也是泰翁的帆.  请花木并同好一显身手, 将下文译成中文:  :)
(译两笔, 为的是细细体会文字心境之美. 于我, 也为防老年.... 症, 如我在闲地所言. )

THE HOME
Rabindranath Tagore

I PACED alone on the road across the field while the sunset was hiding its last gold like a miser.

The daylight sank deeper and deeper into the darkness, and the widowed land, whose harvest had been reaped, lay silent.

Suddenly a boy's shrill voice rose into the sky. He traversed the dark unseen, leaving the track of his song across the hush of the evening.

His village home lay there at the end of the waste land, beyond the sugar-cane field, hidden among the shadows of the banana and the slender areca palm, the cocoa-nut and the dark green jack-fruit trees.

I stopped for a moment in my lonely way under the starlight, and saw spread before me the darkened earth surrounding with her arms countless homes furnished with cradles and beds, mothers' hearts and evening lamps, and young lives glad with a gladness that knows nothing of its value for the world.

云天

请欣赏:  :)

THE FIRST JASMINES

AH, these jasmines, these white jasmines!

I seem to remember the first day when I filled my hands with these jasmines, these white jasmines.

I have loved the sunlight, the sky and the green earth;

I have heard the liquid murmur of the river through the darkness of midnight;

Autumn sunsets have come to me at the bend of a road in the lonely waste, like a bride raising her veil to accept her lover.

Yet my memory is still sweet with the first white jasmines that I held in my hand when I was a child.

Many a glad day has come in my life, and I have laughed with merrymakers on festival nights.

On grey mornings of rain I have crooned many an idle song.

I have worn round my neck the evening wreath of bakulas woven by the hand of love.

Yet my heart is sweet with the memory of the first fresh jasmines that filled my hands when I was a child.


第一次的茉莉
泰戈尔
郑振铎　译

呵,这些茉莉花,这些白的茉莉花!

我仿佛记得我第一次双手满捧着这些茉莉花,这些白的茉莉花的时候.

我喜爱那日光,那天空,那绿色的大地;

我听见那河水淙淙的流声,在黑漆的午夜里传过来;

秋天的夕阳,在荒原上大路转角处迎我,如新妇揭起她的面纱迎接她的爱人.

但我想起孩提时第一次捧在手里的白茉莉,心里充满着甜蜜的回忆.

我生平有过许多快活的日子,在节日宴会的晚上,我曾跟着说笑话的人大笑.

在灰暗的雨天的早晨,我吟哦过许多飘逸的诗篇.

我颈上戴过爱人手织的醉花的花圈,作为晚装.

但我想起孩提时第一次捧在手里的白茉莉, 心里充满着甜蜜的回忆.


一树花, 一处景, 会撩起少年时的回忆.....

Childhood memories-Piano music---Richard Clayderman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzV73mhvC-8

云天

花木, 偶匆匆一译, 抛砖引玉.  
要么, 再换一首?  :)

THE HOME
Rabindranath Tagore

家
泰戈尔

I PACED alone on the road across the field while the sunset was hiding its last gold like a miser.

当夕阳象个守财奴, 收藏起最后一缕金色时, 我穿越原野在路上踽踽独行.

The daylight sank deeper and deeper into the darkness, and the widowed land, whose harvest had been reaped, lay silent.

日光渐渐沉入黑暗深处,  荒芜的土地, 经过丰收的收获, 静静地躺着.

Suddenly a boy's shrill voice rose into the sky. He traversed the dark unseen, leaving the track of his song across the hush of the evening.

突然, 一个男孩的刺耳尖叫升入空中. 他在重重暗夜中穿行, 留他歌声之痕划破夜的静寂.

His village home lay there at the end of the waste land, beyond the sugar-cane field, hidden among the shadows of the banana and the slender areca palm, the cocoa-nut and the dark green jack-fruit trees.

他的村屋座落在荒地尽处, 甘庶田之外, 隐藏在香蕉树,纤细的槟榔树, 椰子树, 和深绿的波罗蜜树的影子里.

I stopped for a moment in my lonely way under the starlight, and saw spread before me the darkened earth surrounding with her arms countless homes furnished with cradles and beds, mothers' hearts and evening lamps, and young lives glad with a gladness that knows nothing of its value for the world.

在星光下, 我在寂寞的路上驻足片刻, 看到我面前伸展着一片黑暗的土地, 用她的手臂环绕着无数的家, 那些家里有摇篮, 床, 母亲的心, 夜晚的灯, 还有年轻的生命, 他们欢乐, 却毫不知道这欢乐对世界的的价值.


明天上郑振铎的译文.

云天

花木, 以你的灼灼文采, 译些美丽的诗行吧.  :)

The night's flower was late when the morning kissed her, she shivered and sighed and dropped to the ground.

Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother.

I came to your shore as a stranger, I lived in your house as a guest, I leave your door as a friend, my earth.

Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence.

Thy sunshine smiles upon the winter days of my heart, never doubting of its spring flowers.

花木

云在青天水在瓶，你真快啊。我们是两极；今天下午我来瞧你有否上泰戈尔的时候，看见《家》。再上来你已译好，且又有新的了。我女儿今天考完SAT，约了朋友来sleep over，我买菜兼作二厨，还需照顾两条狗，孩子吃过饭又去租影碟...等我闲下来，已经午夜。

你译得好，有郑风，我以为。我非常喜欢泰戈尔，但没怎么读过英文版，大都读的郑译。郑振铎反了，语言朴素却美极。那复瓣茉莉花，是你照的吗？‘淡妆绝美’（蒲松龄老是这么形容美人）。我还见过另一种复瓣茉莉，小玫瑰似的。

（云瓶，财叔在文字上要是稍微自信一点，也不至于想写个文想了这么久还写不出。我原自以为认识不少字，却把澎湃读作澎‘拜’。   现在上来翻译/献丑，仅表顶线哈。你当然要纠错，先谢谢）

－－－－－－

The night's flower was late when the morning kissed her, she shivered and sighed and dropped to the ground.
夜晚的花已经老去，当清晨亲吻她时
她瑟缩着叹息着落进土里

Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother.
圣母的轻唱安抚所有的悲伤

I came to your shore as a stranger, I lived in your house as a guest, I leave your door as a friend, my earth.
我的土地，我上了你的岸时是陌生人，我住在你屋里时是客人，我走出你的门时是朋友。

Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence.
当我离开的时候，让我的思绪及于你，有如落日余晖及于星空边际。

Thy sunshine smiles upon the winter days of my heart, never doubting of its spring flowers
阳光在我心灵的冬季微笑，从不怀疑她将带来春花。

云天

云在青天水在瓶，你真快啊。我们是两极；今天下午我来瞧你有否上泰戈尔的时候，看见《家》。再上来你已译好，且又有新的了。我女儿今天考完SAT，约了朋友来sleep over，我买菜兼作二厨，还需照顾两条狗，孩子吃过饭 ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-15 04:10 AM

开心果来了啊.  :)
我家小朋友正吃早饭. 等她们吃好, 我们出去玩. 我写到哪算哪. :)

我随手涂两笔, 好玩而已, 没"风"可言.    

明天是St. Patrick's Day, 小花的生日, 先在这说声, "Happy birthday, lovely 小花! "
回头再献歌. :)   
小花长得真漂亮, like mother, like daughter.  :)
小花擅长游泳, 也必是得了你的gene. 美少女好身材!  :)

至少你还可以 count on 大厨. :)  高仓健有妻若你, 自然要怜惜着.  

至于那"国色天香"的 snow white, 还是....   (You know what I mean. :)  )

哦, 图片是我窃来的.  
你的文字有如茉莉, 淡雅别致, 似"柔风一缕, 薄酒一杯. "  

云天

谢谢花木友情顶线.
我成天写错别字呢.     

译得细腻优美. 容我慢慢欣赏. :)
Have a beautiful weekend! :)



我瞎评几句, 您读着玩.  

花木写道:

The night's flower was late when the morning kissed her, she shivered and sighed and dropped to the ground.
夜晚的花已经老去，当清晨亲吻她时
她瑟缩着叹息着落进土里
("老", 是这个意思, 直译或许是"迟","晚". :)
"瑟缩着叹息着", 妙!  )

Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother.
圣母的轻唱安抚所有的悲伤
("Eternal Mother" 译做"圣母", 有意思.  :))

I came to your shore as a stranger, I lived in your house as a guest, I leave your door as a friend, my earth.
我的土地，我上了你的岸时是陌生人，我住在你屋里时是客人，我走出你的门时是朋友。
(译得贴切. :)  Nature is our best friend. )

Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence.
当我离开的时候，让我的思绪及于你，有如落日余晖及于星空边际。
(好译!  "silence"好象忘了译.
afterglow 这个词, 逸士指正过我几次, 我终于记住了, 余晖,晚霞 要译做"afterglow". :) )

Thy sunshine smiles upon the winter days of my heart, never doubting of its spring flowers
阳光在我心灵的冬季微笑，从不怀疑她将带来春花。
(美句美译!  )

云天

郑振铎的美译:

The night's flower was late when the morning kissed her, she shivered and sighed and dropped to the ground.
夜的花朵来晚了，当早晨吻着她时，她颤栗着，叹息了一声，萎落在地上了。


Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother.
从万物的愁苦中，我听见了“永恒母亲”的呻吟。
( croon 见以下注释.)


I came to your shore as a stranger, I lived in your house as a guest, I leave your door as a friend, my earth.
大地呀，我到你岸上时是一个陌生人，住在你屋内时是一个宾客，离开你的门时是一个朋友。


Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence.
当我去时，让我的思想到你那里来，如那夕阳的余光，映在沉默的星天的边上。


Thy sunshine smiles upon the winter days of my heart, never doubting of its spring flowers.
您的阳光对着我的心头的冬天微笑，从来不怀疑它的春天的花朵。
(我觉得"的"似乎可以少用两个.  瞎讲了. )


croon:
–verb (used without object)
1.         to sing or hum in a soft, soothing voice: to croon to a baby.
2.         to sing in an evenly modulated, slightly exaggerated manner: Popular singers began crooning in the 1930s.
3.         to utter a low murmuring sound.
4.         Scot. and North England.
a.         to bellow; low.
b.         to lament; mourn.
译者显然采用了"to lament; mourn"之意.

云天

THE HOME
Rabindranath Tagore

I PACED alone on the road across the field while the sunset was hiding its last gold like a miser.

The daylight sank deeper and deeper into the darkness, and the widowed land, whose harvest had been reaped, lay silent.

Suddenly a boy's shrill voice rose into the sky. He traversed the dark unseen, leaving the track of his song across the hush of the evening.

His village home lay there at the end of the waste land, beyond the sugar-cane field, hidden among the shadows of the banana and the slender areca palm, the cocoa-nut and the dark green jack-fruit trees.

I stopped for a moment in my lonely way under the starlight, and saw spread before me the darkened earth surrounding with her arms countless homes furnished with cradles and beds, mothers' hearts and evening lamps, and young lives glad with a gladness that knows nothing of its value for the world.


家　庭
郑振铎　译

　　我独自在横跨过田地的路上走着，夕阳像一个守财奴似的，正藏起它的最后的金子。

　　白昼更加深沉地投入黑暗之中，那已经收割了的孤寂的田地，默默地躺在那里。

　　天空里突然升起了一个男孩子的尖锐的歌声。他穿过看不见的黑暗，留下他的歌声的辙痕跨过黄昏的静谧。

　　他的乡村的家坐落在荒凉的边上，在甘蔗田的后面，躲藏在香蕉树，瘦长的槟榔树，椰子树和深绿色的贾克果树的阴影里。

　　我在星光下独自走着的路上停留了一会，我看见黑沉沉的大地展开在我的面前，用她的手臂拥抱着无量数的家庭，在那些家庭里有着摇篮和床铺，母亲们的心和夜晚的灯，还有年轻轻的生命，他们满心欢乐，却浑然不知这样的欢乐对于世界的价值。

Kenny G - Going Home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O4HhnskNog

"家庭里有着摇篮和床铺，母亲们的心和夜晚的灯，还有年轻轻的生命..."

zyzy

美译美图。上来冒个泡。

云天

美译美图。上来冒个泡。
zyzy 发表于 2009-3-15 09:24 PM

谢自言美言.  

你好文笔, 一起来译吧.  :)

云天

花木/自言等, 请!  

PAPER BOATS
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Day by day I float my paper boats one by one down the running
stream.
    In big black letters I write my name on them and the name of
the village where I live.
    I hope that someone in some strange land will find them and
know who I am.
    I load my little boats with shiuli flower from our garden, and
hope that these blooms of the dawn will be carried safely to land
in the night.
    I launch my paper boats and look up into the sky and see the
little clouds setting thee white bulging sails.
    I know not what playmate of mine in the sky sends them down
the air to race with my boats!
    When night comes I bury my face in my arms and dream that my
paper boats float on and on under the midnight stars.
    The fairies of sleep are sailing in them, and the lading ins
their baskets full of dreams.

云天

冰心有同名诗.

纸船
-------寄母亲
冰心

我从不肯妄弃一张纸，

总是留着——留着

叠成一只只很小的船儿，

从舟上抛下在海里。


有的被天风吹卷到舟中的窗里，

有的被海浪打湿，沾在船头上。

我仍是不灰心的每天叠着，

总希望有一只能流到我要它到的地方去。



母亲，倘若你梦中看见一只很小的白船儿，

不要惊讶它无端入梦。

这是你至爱的女儿含着泪叠的，

万水千山，求它载着她的爱和悲哀归去。

八，二十七，一九二三太平洋舟中


妈妈的吻
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEFvi8cE28M

花木

云瓶还记得俺女儿的数据。丁葱的女儿和俺女儿差一天（但小许多年）。还谢谢告诉俺泰戈尔自己写英文这回事。我先前以为是别人译成英文的。

谢谢云天指点！你同时push我学了英语。

等到自己来翻译，忽然觉得郑译也不是高不可攀 -- 又马上悟到这感觉和学了一、二、三就跑掉然后用梳子齿来写‘万’的小孩一样。

这只纸船，留给自言翻译，我旁听 :)。问君子言好。在对联线被自言的‘小人所诺轻’当头棒喝。 我常把些愿望随便道来，倒是都记得，就是无力兑现，早作了网上头号小人。

云天

云瓶还记得俺女儿的数据。丁葱的女儿和俺女儿差一天（但小许多年）。还谢谢告诉俺泰戈尔自己写英文这回事。我先前以为是别人译成英文的。

谢谢云天指点！你同时push我学了英语。

等到自己来翻译，忽然觉得郑译 ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-16 04:28 PM

开心果好.

明天才是St. Patrick's Day 呢. 我原以为今天呢.
丁葱女儿在角落的玉照极有灵气.

不敢. 共同学习. 人翩翩知音说偶是书呆子.

倒也是.
很多事自己真试一下, 也没那么难.  
当然偶对自己要求低.  

伊人总口吐莲花. 写"万"字有趣哎.  


自言, 接了花帅的令箭吧.   

云天

阿丽一定喜欢读"新月集". :)

再涂两笔.  
明天贴英文原文, 瞧瞧"我的小小的命芽儿"该怎么说.
偶家小女总爱问, "What else will you call me? "
My sweet heart, my sugar, my music......   现在多了一个"小小的命芽儿".  :)

不被注意的花饰
泰戈尔

　　啊，谁给那件小外衫染上颜色的，我的孩子，谁使你的温软的肢体穿上那件红的小外衫的？
　　你在早晨就跑出来到天井里玩儿，你，跑着就像摇摇欲跌似的。
　　但是谁给那件小外衫染上颜色的，我的孩子？
　　什么事叫你大笑起来的，我的小小的命芽儿？
　　妈妈站在门边，微笑地望着你。
　　她拍着她的双手，她的手镯丁当地响着，你手里拿着你的竹竿儿在跳舞，活像一个小小的牧童。
　　但是什么事叫你大笑起来的，我的小小的命芽儿？
　　喔，乞丐，你双手攀搂住妈妈的头颈，要乞讨些什么？
　　喔，贪得无厌的心，要我把整个世界从天上摘下来，像摘一个果子似的，把它放在你的一双小小的玫瑰色的手掌上么？
　　喔，乞丐，你要乞讨些什么？
　　风高兴地带走了你踝铃的丁当。
　　太阳微笑着，望着你的打扮。
　　当你睡在你妈妈的臂弯里时，天空在上面望着你，而早晨蹑手蹑脚地走到你的床跟前，吻着你的双眼。
　　风高兴地带走了你踝铃的丁当。
　　仙乡里的梦婆飞过朦胧的天空，向你飞来。
　　在你妈妈的心头上，那世界母亲，正和你坐在一块儿。
　　他，向星星奏乐的人，正拿着他的横笛，站在你的窗边。
　　仙乡里的梦婆飞过朦胧的天空，向你飞来。

Unnoticed Flower Ornaments
Translated by Yuntian

Ah, who dyed the small garment, my child, who put that small red outfit on your soft body?
You came out running in the morning and played in the courtyard; You seemed about to fall.
But who dyed the small outfit, my child?

What made you laugh, my little life bud?
Mother stood by the door, looking at you with smiles.
She patted both her hands, her bracelets tinkling; You danced with a bamboo stick in your hand , looking so much like a little shepherd.
But what made you laugh, my little life bud?
Oh, beggar, wrapping your hands around mother’s neck,  what are you begging?
　　
Oh, insatiably greedy heart, wants me to pick the entire world from the sky, like plucking a piece of fruit, and put it in your tiny rosy pink palms?
Oh, beggar, what do you want?
Wind happily takes away the tinkles of your ankle bells.
Sun smiles, looking at your outfit.
　　
When you nap in your mother’s elbows, sky watches you from above, and dawn gently walks to the front of your bed, kissing both your eyes.
Wind happily takes away the tinkles of your ankle bells.
The dream granny in the fairyland flies through the dim sky, flying to you.

In the heart of your mother, that World Mother is sitting with you.
He, who plays music to the stars, is holding his flute, standing by your window.
The dream granny in the fairyland flies through the dim sky, flying to you.

fanghua

（可以踩一脚吗？）  ：-）

云天

（可以踩一脚吗？）  ：-）
fanghua 发表于 2009-3-17 02:10 AM

踩=顶. :)
芳华温馨一脚, 令偶嘴角上扬.  谢谢. :)

妳有兴趣一译吗?
自言架子可大着呢.  

花木

大学，你也是眷村的孩子吗？眷村对我来说，是遥远生疏的，却又是温馨、因其冷暖自知而显得诗意的地方。（别问中庸从哪里知道的，我的resource在远方 ；）  ）

云天，我一会儿就下去了。

简子，你来替我一会儿班，好不，要是你忙完了的话。我去去就来。我本纳闷，不是都说简子来了么，怎没见来跟花前辈打招呼呢 。昨晚我把小丝的空间看遍；谢谢你啊。   （也因此说什么都要先还了愿再来 ）

云天

大学，你也是眷村的孩子吗？眷村对我来说，是遥远生疏的，却又是温馨、因其冷暖自知而显得诗意的地方。（别问中庸从哪里知道的，我的resource在远方 ；）  ）

云天，我一会儿就下去了。

简子，你来替我一会儿班， ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-17 04:09 PM

芳华博学, 要称"大学". 知道了. :)
我也认识眷村长大的朋友.

花木, 我是自娱自乐. 您别这么客气. :)

云天

翻旧书, 竟看到"AGEANT"被我highlight 过. 可英文原文早忘完了.
看来还要接着译, 温故知新.
(P 怎么总变做笑脸?  )

瞧见了"life-bud".:)
下回译要尽量简练.  "tiptoe"--蹑手蹑脚, 怎么没想到.


THE UNHEEDED PAGEANT
Rabindranath Tagore

AH, who was it coloured that little frock, my child, and covered your sweet limbs with that little red tunic?

You have come out in the morning to play in the courtyard, tottering and tumbling as you run.

But who was it coloured that little frock, my child?

What is it makes you laugh, my little life-bud?

Mother smiles at you standing on the threshold.

She claps her hands and her bracelets jingle, and you dance with your bamboo stick in your hand like a tiny little shepherd.

But what is it makes you laugh, my little life-bud?

O beggar, what do you beg for, clinging to your mother's neck with both your hands?

O greedy heart, shall I pluck the world like a fruit from the sky to place it on your little rosy palm?

O beggar, what are you begging for?

The wind carries away in glee the tinkling of your anklet bells.

The sun smiles and watches your toilet. The sky watches over you when you sleep in your mother's arms, and the morning comes tiptoe to your bed and kisses your eyes.

The wind carries away in glee the tinkling of your anklet bells.

The fairy mistress of dreams is coming towards you, flying through the twilight sky.

The world-mother keeps her seat by you in your mother's heart.

He who plays his music to the stars is standing at your window with his flute.

And the fairy mistress of dreams is coming towards you, flying through the twilight sky.


不被注意的花饰
泰戈尔

　　啊，谁给那件小外衫染上颜色的，我的孩子，谁使你的温软的肢体穿上那件红的小外衫的？
　　你在早晨就跑出来到天井里玩儿，你，跑着就像摇摇欲跌似的。
　　但是谁给那件小外衫染上颜色的，我的孩子？
　　什么事叫你大笑起来的，我的小小的命芽儿？
　　妈妈站在门边，微笑地望着你。
　　她拍着她的双手，她的手镯丁当地响着，你手里拿着你的竹竿儿在跳舞，活像一个小小的牧童。
　　但是什么事叫你大笑起来的，我的小小的命芽儿？
　　喔，乞丐，你双手攀搂住妈妈的头颈，要乞讨些什么？
　　喔，贪得无厌的心，要我把整个世界从天上摘下来，像摘一个果子似的，把它放在你的一双小小的玫瑰色的手掌上么？
　　喔，乞丐，你要乞讨些什么？
　　风高兴地带走了你踝铃的丁当。
　　太阳微笑着，望着你的打扮。
　　当你睡在你妈妈的臂弯里时，天空在上面望着你，而早晨蹑手蹑脚地走到你的床跟前，吻着你的双眼。
　　风高兴地带走了你踝铃的丁当。
　　仙乡里的梦婆飞过朦胧的天空，向你飞来。
　　在你妈妈的心头上，那世界母亲，正和你坐在一块儿。
　　他，向星星奏乐的人，正拿着他的横笛，站在你的窗边。
　　仙乡里的梦婆飞过朦胧的天空，向你飞来。



Secret Garden - Dreamcatcher
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrMQhs1hoTA

Hear my silent prayer
Heed my quiet call
When the dark and blue surround you
Step into my sigh
Look inside the light
You will know that I have found you

花木

请教云瓶，anklet 是不是脚链？ 谢谢。

fancao

25# 花木
我的女儿说，是的。

云天

花木, 来迟了. 见谅. :)

仙草, 多谢了. :)
多谢版主提拔. :)

anklet
–noun
1.         a sock that reaches just above the ankle.
2.         an ornamental circlet worn around the ankle.

晚些来贴拙译.

花木

谢谢灵芝 的女儿。云瓶，我post了问题就汗颜了，随手可以查字典的，再说我也有女儿可以问 。我痴呆了。

argos

1# 云天

云天, 你让我好感动。对不起，我刚刚看到。 谢谢你！有消息了一定早早告诉你！

问花木，自言，芳华及版主好！

云天

1# 云天

云天, 你让我好感动。对不起，我刚刚看到。 谢谢你！有消息了一定早早告诉你！

问花木，自言，芳华及版主好！
argos 发表于 2009-3-20 08:04 PM

画家阿丽啊, 失迎失迎!
去过希腊?  

大家都在等你的好消息呢.  祝福你!  :)

再谢你E 来泰翁美文. :)

云天

谢谢灵芝 的女儿。云瓶，我post了问题就汗颜了，随手可以查字典的，再说我也有女儿可以问 。我痴呆了。
花木 发表于 2009-3-20 05:36 PM

怕痴呆, 就赶紧一起译吧. 我也怕.  

云天

花木/自言不肯显身手. 偶只好献拙了.
阿丽, 有兴致就一起玩.  不必刻意顶线. 在小站线不会沉.
阿丽, 你叠纸船的日子就快来了. :)

PAPER BOATS
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

纸船
罗宾德拉纳特·泰戈尔
云天译

DAY by day I float my paper boats one by one down the running stream.
日复一日,  我把纸船一只只放入奔流的小溪里漂游.

In big black letters I write my name on them and the name of the village where I live.
用大而黑的字, 我在上面写下我的名字, 还有我居住的村庄的名字.


I hope that someone in some strange land will find them and know who I am.

我期望在某个陌生的地方, 某个人会发现这些纸船, 知道我是谁.

I load my little boats with shiuli flowers from our garden, and hope that these blooms of the dawn will be carried safely to land in the night.

我把我们花园里的秀丽花装入小纸船里, 盼望这些清晨的花朵会在夜晚时被安然带到陆地上.

I launch my paper boats and look up into the sky and see the little clouds setting their white bulging sails.

我放游我的纸船, 仰望天空, 看小小的云朵张开她们白色饱满的船帆.

I know not what playmate of mine in the sky sends them down the air to race with my boats!

我不知道我天空里的哪些玩伴送她们乘风而下, 与我的纸船竞赛!

When night comes I bury my face in my arms and dream that my paper boats float on and on under the midnight stars.

当夜幕四合, 我把面孔埋在臂弯里, 梦想我的纸船在午夜的星空下不停地漂流.

The fairies of sleep are sailing in them, and the lading is their baskets full of dreams.

睡仙子正在纸船里航行, 她们的篮子里盛满了梦幻.


明天上郑译. :)

花木

淆习了。lading 翻作‘盛满’，美。
云瓶，目前这教学进度正适合我，可别太快了。

那，阿丽就是海星了？ 惊艳惊艳，我见过你那幅烟斗画。海星要有时间画点什么的时候，不要忘了也post在这里一份啊。

Reader86

淆习了。lading 翻作‘盛满’，美。
云瓶，目前这教学进度正适合我，可别太快了。

那，阿丽就是海星了？ 惊艳惊艳，我见过你那幅烟斗画。海星要有时间画点什么的时候，不要忘了也post在这里一份啊。 ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-20 09:28 PM

花木好！好长时间不见了。:)

花木

读妹妹好！看见你很高兴啊。你开始种东西了吗？

云天

淆习了。lading 翻作‘盛满’，美。
云瓶，目前这教学进度正适合我，可别太快了。

那，阿丽就是海星了？ 惊艳惊艳，我见过你那幅烟斗画。海星要有时间画点什么的时候，不要忘了也post在这里一份啊。 ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-20 09:28 PM

花木周末好!
Good. Let's keep the fun rolling.
Will post more later.

因了那画, 阿丽又名"斗笠".

顺问读MM好. :)

Reader86

读妹妹好！看见你很高兴啊。你开始种东西了吗？
花木 发表于 2009-3-21 03:24 AM

可不是吗。又要开始忙碌。:)

云天MM好。:)

云天

郑译来了:

PAPER BOATS
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

Day by day I float my paper boats one by one down the running
stream.
    In big black letters I write my name on them and the name of
the village where I live.
    I hope that someone in some strange land will find them and
know who I am.
    I load my little boats with shiuli flower from our garden, and
hope that these blooms of the dawn will be carried safely to land
in the night.
    I launch my paper boats and look up into the sky and see the
little clouds setting thee white bulging sails.
    I know not what playmate of mine in the sky sends them down
the air to race with my boats!
    When night comes I bury my face in my arms and dream that my
paper boats float on and on under the midnight stars.
    The fairies of sleep are sailing in them, and the lading ins
their baskets full of dreams.

纸 船
泰戈尔

我每天把纸船放在急流的溪中。

我在纸船上用大黑字写上我的名字和我住的村名。

我希望住在异地的人会得到纸船，知道我是谁。

我把园中长的秀丽花栽在我的小船上，希望这些黎明开的花能在夜里平平安安地带到岸上。

我投我的纸船到水里，仰望天空，看见小朵的云正张着满鼓着风的白帆。

我不知道天上有我的什么游伴把这些船放下来同我的船比赛!

夜来了，我的脸埋在手臂里，梦见我的纸船在子夜的星光下缓缓地浮泛前去。

睡仙坐在船里，带着满载梦的篮子。


Tchaikovsky "Seasons" - Barcarole (June)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neuLhyD6c4A&feature=related



每个孩子都有灿烂的梦, 愿他/她们都美梦成真.

云天

云天MM好。:)
Reader86 发表于 2009-3-21 02:59 PM

谢读MM. 周末好! :)

云天

再贴一篇.
不给花木压力. 有兴趣的朋友请一显身手.
若没人译, 我就自己涂. :)

ON THE SEASHORE
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

ON the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

The infinite sky is motionless overhead and the restless water is boisterous. On the seashore of endless worlds the children meet with shouts and dances.

They build their houses with sand, and they play with empty shells. With withered leaves they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep. Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets. Pearl-fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships, while children gather pebbles and scatter them again. They seek not for hidden treasures, they know not how to cast nets.

The sea surges up with laughter, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach. Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children, even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle. The sea plays with children, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet. Tempest roams in the pathless sky, ships are wrecked in the trackless water, death is abroad and children play. On the seashore of endless worlds is the great meeting of children.

Debussy "La Mer" -movement 1- Abbado Lucerne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXHud5Lxgk4

花木

云天，我要是说你这首《纸船》好过郑译，似乎大逆不道，但我这么觉得。

我看见你图中海上的云朵。

我不能翻译。post幅照片充数。羡慕图里简单的孩子。

花木

救命啊，请纠错。真是不知怎么译，累死了。但只求不作张铁生。

ON THE SEASHORE
RABINDRANATH TAGORE
海湾上
泰戈尔 著
花木 抹黑

ON the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

孩子们聚在空旷的海岸。（你重新翻‘endless worlds’，云瓶）


The infinite sky is motionless overhead and the restless water is boisterous. On the seashore of endless worlds the children meet with shouts and dances.

头上广袤的天空静谧，不息的海水喧哗。孩子们叫着舞着聚在空旷的海岸。


They build their houses with sand, and they play with empty shells. With withered leaves they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep. Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

他们建沙堡，玩空北壳；拿枯树叶编小船，笑着去深水泛舟。孩子们在海边有自己的游戏。


They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets. Pearl-fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships, while children gather pebbles and scatter them again. They seek not for hidden treasures, they know not how to cast nets.

孩子们不会游泳，不会撒网。养珠人潜海捕珠，商人们操船，而他们搜集石子儿，再撒出去。他们不寻宝藏，不会撒网。


The sea surges up with laughter, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach. Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children, even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle. The sea plays with children, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

海汹涌着笑声，pale 闪烁着海滩的微笑。大浪给孩子们唱着小曲，简直象母亲摇着她婴孩的摇篮。海跟孩子们玩耍， pale 闪烁着海滩的微笑。


On the seashore of endless worlds children meet. Tempest roams in the pathless sky, ships are wrecked in the trackless water, death is abroad and children play. On the seashore of endless worlds is the great meeting of children.

孩子们聚在空旷的海岸。风雨漫天徜徉，沉船漫水搁置，沉滓泛起，孩子们玩耍。孩子们欢聚在空旷的海岸。

云天

云天，我要是说你这首《纸船》好过郑译，似乎大逆不道，但我这么觉得。

我看见你图中海上的云朵。

我不能翻译。post幅照片充数。羡慕图里简单的孩子。

...
花木 发表于 2009-3-23 03:09 AM

花木, 谢你谬赞. 但我有自知之明.

你的柔软心让我感动. 我常在小径上看到黄灿灿的花...

同慕. 用简单的心过简单的日子, 真好.
谢照片. :)

网慢得一塌糊涂. 我晚些来欣赏你的美译. 想不到你译了!
我昨也译了.

云天

花木, 那我们一起研究研究. 红塔山就免了.

花木写道:

ON THE SEASHORE
RABINDRANATH TAGORE
海湾上  
(云天wrote: seashore: land along the sea or ocean. 海滨, 海边, 海岸?  
海湾: 大概指 bay 更合适? OK, 看到你后面用的是"海岸". ))
泰戈尔 著
花木 抹黑

ON the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

孩子们聚在空旷的海岸。（你重新翻‘endless worlds’，云瓶）
(云天写道: ‘endless worlds 有"空旷"之意. 直译是"无边/垠世界")

The infinite sky is motionless overhead and the restless water is boisterous. On the seashore of endless worlds the children meet with shouts and dances.

头上广袤的天空静谧，不息的海水喧哗。孩子们叫着舞着聚在空旷的海岸。
(云天写道: 译得美!  "空旷"如前. )

They build their houses with sand, and they play with empty shells. With withered leaves they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep. Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

他们建沙堡，玩空贝壳；拿枯树叶编小船，笑着去深水泛舟。孩子们在海边有自己的游戏。
(云天写道:
"笑着去深水泛舟"不很清楚. 是把手做的玩具小船放在深水漂流.
they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep)


They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets. Pearl-fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships, while children gather pebbles and scatter them again. They seek not for hidden treasures, they know not how to cast nets.

孩子们不会游泳，不会撒网。养珠人潜海捕珠，商人们操船，而他们搜集石子儿，再撒出去。他们不寻宝藏，不会撒网。
(云天写道: 译得好!  
Pearl-fishers , 不一定是"养珠人"吧. 是采珠人. )


The sea surges up with laughter, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach. Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children, even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle. The sea plays with children, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

海汹涌着笑声，pale 闪烁着海滩的微笑。大浪给孩子们唱着小曲，简直象母亲摇着她婴孩的摇篮。海跟孩子们玩耍， pale 闪烁着海滩的微笑。
(云天WROTE:
译得有动感!  借走你的"简直". :)
pale 指微光吧.
Death-dealing waves: Death-dealing: "deadly" 之意)


On the seashore of endless worlds children meet. Tempest roams in the pathless sky, ships are wrecked in the trackless water, death is abroad and children play. On the seashore of endless worlds is the great meeting of children.

孩子们聚在空旷的海岸。风雨漫天徜徉，沉船漫水搁置，沉滓泛起，孩子们玩耍。孩子们欢聚在空旷的海岸。
(云天WROTE: 诗意"徜徉"!    "聚"用得好!
pathless, trackless 用"漫"译了, 得用心才读得出. :) )

Buddy, greatly appreciate your participation!   Please keep up your good work!  

云天

晚些贴正译. 先把偶的拙译贴上来赚工分:


ON THE SEASHORE
RABINDRANATH TAGORE

在海边
泰戈尔
云天译

ON the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

在无边世界的海滩上, 孩子们相遇.

The infinite sky is motionless overhead and the restless water is boisterous. On the seashore of endless worlds the children meet with shouts and dances.

头顶无垠的天空纹丝不动, 而躁动的海水喧哗不止.  在无边世界的海滩上,  孩子们相见, 又叫又跳.


They build their houses with sand, and they play with empty shells. With withered leaves they weave their boats and smilingly float them on the vast deep. Children have their play on the seashore of worlds.

他们用沙建筑房屋, 他们用空贝壳游戏玩耍.  他们用枯叶编织船儿, 微笑着把他们放入浩深的海里漂游. 孩子们在世界的海滩上玩耍.

They know not how to swim, they know not how to cast nets. Pearl-fishers dive for pearls, merchants sail in their ships, while children gather pebbles and scatter them again. They seek not for hidden treasures, they know not how to cast nets.

他们不知道怎么游泳, 他们不晓得如何撒网. 采珠者潜水寻珍珠, 商人们扬帆航行, 而孩子们搜集鹅卵石, 又把他们四处撒落. 他们不寻找隐藏的珠宝, 他们不知道如何撒网.



The sea surges up with laughter, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach. Death-dealing waves sing meaningless ballads to the children, even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle. The sea plays with children, and pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

大海带着笑声澎湃, 苍白闪烁着海滩的微笑.  惊涛恶浪向孩子们唱着没有意义的童谣, 简直就象晃动着摇篮中的婴儿的妈妈一般. 大海与孩子们玩耍, 苍白闪烁着海滩的微笑.

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet. Tempest roams in the pathless sky, ships are wrecked in the trackless water, death is abroad and children play. On the seashore of endless worlds is the great meeting of children.

在无边世界的海滩上, 孩子们相遇. 暴雨在无径的天上漫游, 船只在无轨的水中被撞碎, 死神处处,  孩子们玩耍. 在无边世界的海滩上,  是孩子们的盛会.

云天

花木, 你好好度假. :)

阿丽, 你以后一定会带你的小星星去海边玩的, 是吗? :)
(不必回.)

网上找来的正译. 改了几个别字.

On The Seashore
Tagore

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet.
The infinite sky is motionless overhead
And the restless water is boisterous.
On the seashore of endless worlds
The children meet with shouts and dances.

They build their houses with sand,
And they play with empty shells.
With withered leaves they weave
Their boats and smilingly float them
On the vast deep.
Children have their play on the
Seashore of worlds.

They know not how to swim,
They know not how to cast nets.
Pearl-fishers dive for pearls,
Merchants sail in their ships,
While children gather pebbles
And scatter them again.
They seek not for hidden treasures,
They know not how to cast nets.

The sea surges up with laughter,
And pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.
Death-dealing waves sing
Meaningless ballads to the children,
Even like a mother while rocking her baby's cradle.
The sea plays with children,
And pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach.

On the seashore of endless worlds children meet.
Tempest roams in the pathless sky,
Ships are wrecked in the trackless water,
Death is abroad and children play.
On the seashore of endless worlds is the
Great meeting of children.


在海滨

在无尽世界的海滨，孩子们相聚。
头上无垠的天空静止，不息的海水狂暴。
在无尽世界的海滨，
孩子们相聚、叫着、跳着。


他们以沙筑屋，他们戏耍着空贝壳，
他们用凋萎的枯叶编制它们的船只，
然后微笑地让他们在深海中飘浮。
孩子们有自己的游戏，在世界的海滨。


他们不知如何游泳，他们不知如何撒网。
采珠者潜水寻觅珍珠，商人们乘船航行，
而孩子们将鹅卵石拾起又抛散。
他们不寻找宝藏，他们不知该如何撒网。


海洋带着笑声涌起大浪，
苍白闪烁着的是海滩的笑容。
凶险波涛对这孩子们唱着无意义的歌，
竟似母亲推动婴儿摇篮时的哼唱。
大海与孩子们戏耍，
苍白闪烁着的是海滩的笑容。


在无尽世界的海滨孩子们相聚。
暴风雨在无径的空中怒吼，
船只在无踪的水里崩解。
死神处处皆在，而孩子们在戏耍。
在无尽世界的海滨是孩子们盛大的聚会。


Eduard Lenner plays Smetana -Concert Etude "On the Seashore"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4E6x3HsHYw

花木

云瓶，翻得比我的好太多了。除忠实于原文，且流畅自然。对比之下，我把‘death is abroad’ 翻成‘沉滓泛起’，简直是痴人说梦。我自己都笑起来。

只有一点要和老师商榷：pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach -- 其中的pale，当名词用时，好象是指海岸上的某种隔离设施？ 苍白闪烁着微笑，似不通？

云天

云瓶，翻得比我的好太多了。除忠实于原文，且流畅自然。对比之下，我把‘death is abroad’ 翻成‘沉滓泛起’，简直是痴人说梦。我自己都笑起来。

只有一点要和老师商榷：pale gleams the smile of the sea-beac ...
花木 发表于 2009-3-27 03:37 AM

花木, 谢谬赞. 你译得很不错. 我只是当做玩字的游戏.
"笑起来"就好, 不管何故.

谢你"商榷".
我先前说"微光"是牵强附会了.
你这一问, 我就只好多想一下.
谢谢.   

pale gleams the smile of the sea-beach
应该算是倒装句吧:
the smile of the sea-beach gleams pale
海滩的笑容苍白地闪烁.

郑译遵循原文词序译做:
苍白闪烁着的是海滩的笑容。


晚些再来贴新的.

花木

小老师，谢谢指正！你要不指出倒装，我就看不出来，一意以为pale是名词。要是名词，应该冠以the 的吧。

（我先生回来了，一叠声在楼下叫魂。一会儿再来。

看见阿雾开玩笑，我都笑死。她给我做饭？ 我马上看见她医院里的病人个个睁大眼睛瞪着我，好象我欠他们的一样。）

学生花大姐 祝好，匆匆


（PS，云瓶，谢谢告诉我 bodkin！）

mist

豪子，俺在家里是做饭的。既然俺在家里能做，怎么就不能给你做饭呢？当然，俺做的饭比海胆做的要差得多：))

问雅天好！

看见阿雾开玩笑，我都笑死。她给我做饭？ 我马上看见她医院里的病人个个睁大眼睛瞪着我，好象我欠他们的一样。）