如果不受前日所贴的诗的藏头的要求，进一步修改就成了自己重写的诗：
野游见美女作
陌上谁家美艳娘 桃红敷面发丝长 霓冠翠盖云霞伴 沅芷湘兰玉璧藏 目窥青春常驻颜 心思裙裾总飘香 君如识我相知意 把酒天台宴刘郎
Behold the beauty afield, whose daughter is she?
Her cheeks rouge, her long hair fair
Colors of nature and rosy clouds in company
Like fine jade hidden by fragrant weeds she is there
My eyes peep at her forever youthful countenance
My heart follows her skirt that scatters fragrance
Oh , maid, If thou knowest my desire to befriend thee
Please hold a wine feast at the fairy terrace for me | 